I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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