her vagine was all disorganized.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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