my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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