called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
