You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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