I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pants are for mortals
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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