Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
