ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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