Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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