This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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