This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
