i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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