i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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