I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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