Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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