the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
