when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
