I must be too annoying 4 u.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
