Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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