Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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