i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
