he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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