I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
