I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
