I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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