I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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