I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want nice things and good sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
