it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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