Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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