my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My pussy is not your playground.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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