please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
