its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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