Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
