I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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