i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
