I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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