I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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