i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
