It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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