I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
