From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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