Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize