He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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