Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
