Just mADE A PArabola og urine
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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