OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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