Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize