i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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