I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize