I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
