she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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