So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
