if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
