Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
