I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I supernannyed him into submission
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
