so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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