He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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