it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
