Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
