I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
