i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize