I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
