Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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