I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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