I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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