already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You need a sexual gate keeper
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
