Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
as a side note pls kill me
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