yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
