Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
